High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

The BBC forces Shirley to apologise on TV to Mrs Oxley. Shirley gave Mrs Oxley a reading and she complained that he'd stolen words from the obituary of a newspaper and used them in the reading. Shirley offers career advice to several people and informs them what he sees of their future occupations. Kininla, Chrissy, Erol, Stella, Kim, Joel, Sylvia and Maria are the unlucky eight to win a place at Spirit Academy. The contestants learn they only have a blanket or mattress to sleep on and only get their dinner if they can predict what it is using their psychic abilities. The Paranormalists: Shirley's Dictaphone wielding apprentice Alf Szczurek (Marc playing another character) is an exorcist and offers his services to householder Louise and her half painted home. After much ghost hunting and sexual talk down his Dictaphone, Alf traps Louise's troublesome ghost in a jam jar. C is for Cat as another letter of the psychic A – Z is revealed. Shirley invites two members of the audience onto the

Shirley tells the audience about a cheeky e - mail he has received from Sue in Derby concerning his weight. Shirley explains that success brings money and money brings food. Shirley uses his powers to explore people's problems using their bodies. It's the second week of term at Spirit Academy and one person has to leave. Shirley sets the contestants a tarot card challenge and observes the exercise as they give one another readings. Stella is chosen to leave Spirit Academy. The Paranormalists: Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) meets male witch Kevin Carlyon. They go into the woods at night and perform a ritual to rid Ian of his ghosts. The other side of Shirley Ghostman: Shirley meets a diet expert who gives him some advice on his waistline. Shirley also goes to a posh restaurant for a bite to eat with Princess Diana. Shirley points out to the waiter that he will be channelling Princess Diana hence he will have to eat both meals. Shirley eats and drinks w

Shirley shows the audience a drawing of Sheba which a viewer has sent in. Shirley points out that nowhere in the show's title is Sheba's name mentioned. He stresses the show is not a double act and sets fire to the drawing with a lighter. Shirley announces that Sheba won't be joining Shirley on the spirit side. He was forced to send the Alsatian away as she bit a baby's face off in heaven. Shirley touches objects given to him from people and gets a psychic impression of the history of the object. At Spirit Academy Shirley has detected an evil spirit. He channels it and it's revealed the spirit killed his victims by defecating in their mouths. Shirley takes the contestants on a ghost hunt around the grounds to set the spirit free. Chrissy is booted out of Spirit Academy as the eliminations continue. Shirley's psychic abilities are fading fast without Sheba's help and he shouts at a member of the audience. The Paranormalists: Shirley's lager swigging apprentice Colin Reynolds, (Marc play

Shirley swigs from a bottle of champagne and has a trophy in his hand. He tells the audience he has won the best international TV psychic award. His prize looks like a football trophy though. Shirley visits Harrow Borough F.C. and trains the team from a psychic's point of view. The team don't take kindly to Shirley's tips and advice though and constantly mock him throughout training. Shirley storms off the pitch when one player kicks a ball at him. Shirley teaches the Spirit Academy contestants how to deal with troublesome spirits. Kim is voted out of Spirit Academy in the first of two vote offs. Shirley sets the contestants the task of producing ectoplasm. Maria produces the most and is rewarded for her effort by being able to vote off a second contestant. She chooses Erol to leave. Shirley asks which member of the audience has broken wind. The Paranormalists: Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) meets Gaynor Fairweather, a Shamanic Trance Dancer. She teac

Shirley tells the audience he is cooking on gas in tonight's show. Shirley visits Vauxhall City Farm and talks to the animals. He tells the farm owner that his animals are cracking jokes to one another and that one of the horses wants to visit Brazil. At Spirit Academy the final four contestants have to fight for a place in next weeks final. Shirley challenges the contestant's abilities to channel spirits on mass. Kininla is voted out of Spirit Academy. Shirley is drawn to two members of the audience, a young man and an older lady. The spirits tell Shirley they're a couple and are having problems in the relationship. After some words of advice from Shirley, the young man tells Shirley they don't know one another. Shirley changes tack and says the spirits are telling him they shouldn't be a couple anyway as they are not suited. Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) meets Bernard Ilsley, an Extra – Terrestrial Medium. Bernard channels an alien so Ian can ask s

A radio controlled car rides onto the stage with a small teddy sitting on it in the form of a dog. Shirley says it's his spirit guide Sheba. It's the grand final of Spirit Academy and the finalists are set for their biggest challenge to date, a psychic assault course. After a messy assault course involving readings and bobbing for stars in a paddling pool of gunge, Maria is crowned the winner of Spirit Academy and is presented with an award in the shape of a coffin. Shirley Vs The Sceptics: Shirley confronts Nick Pullar, manager of Sceptics in the Pub – a group that meets in London. Shirley is hopeful of proving his powers to Nick by doing a test. Nick has drawn a picture on a piece of paper and Shirley will hopefully replicate it. Shirley reluctantly opens his paper first, he has drawn multiple pictures on it. Nick has drawn the pie symbol on his paper. Shirley defends his error by claiming that if you do some calculations, his pictures do mean pie. Shirley presents his new quiz show